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PART ONE A few days ago a friend texted me an amazing quote: Don’t tell God how big your problem is. Tell your problem how big your God is. Minutes later, two other friends texted me their problems. One of them had just gotten an unexpected call from the county coroner, and the other one was just then heading out to see a family member in hospice, while thinking God might be leading him to pray for a miracle. So i passed onto both of them the quote i’d just received as i marveled at God’s timing. But within an hour i heard God say to me, without words . . . “Not so fast! It’s great that you passed along that encouraging quote. But didn’t you just promise both your friends that you would pray for them and their loved ones?” Then the wrestling began. It’s one thing to quote a catchy slogan; it’s quite another to walk it out. As i tried to imagine my buddy visiting his loved one in hospice, i began to realize what a big deal it was for him to be pondering a life-saving miracle. Although the slogan i sent him reflects that way of thinking, it suddenly occurred to me that we should only be praying that way if we’re responding to God’s leading, because this particular loved one had already been in hospice for months, and we should not be suddenly asking God to physically heal him, if God is heading in the opposite direction and preparing everyone for his passing. 1 Yet i promised my buddy that i would pray for his loved one, so i still asked God to heal him. “I Am,” God replied. “You always give us your best!” i smiled. “My best is in heaven,” He replied. That reminded me of Jeremy Camp’s story about how God had healed his first wife of cancer by bringing her home to Him. Because heaven has no sickness or disease, it’s definitely supernatural. But we tend not to think of it as miraculous, because getting there usually involves letting nature run its course and letting death take its toll. Yet i suspect God doesn’t look at it that way, because He sees things from the other side. So i’ve been meditating a lot on what i already believe – that the greatest miracle of all, even greater than Christ being raised from the dead, is Him being raised from the dead in us! If that is true, and i believe it is, then heaven is where it finally manifests and becomes fulfilled. Yet that magnitude of miracle should be stirring way more awe in me than i’m currently feeling, which suggests my faith, hope and love still have room to grow. “Do you believe in miracles?” i imagine Jesus asking me today. “Yes, i do,” i reply. “Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed,” He says. 2 “i do believe!” i respond. ”Help me in my unbelief!” 3 Oh Lord, please help us all feel grateful for the way You are answering our prayers for our loved ones. That one in hospice is about to embark on the greatest adventure of his entire life, as another buddy of mine is fond of saying. And You say that to live is Christ and to die is gain. 4 So Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. Psalms 42:5 After i wrote down these words, i fell asleep. In the middle of the night God and i resumed our conversation, at the place where i had dozed off. Many things i confessed to Him, but the gist of it was that heaven isn’t as real to me as many other things in the Bible. God’s kindness, His sovereignty and His faithfulness - those ways of thinking about Him are very real to me, not just because they’re in the Bible but because His Spirit has sown them deeply in my heart. 5 i’m so unworthy to know Him that way, and that, too, is very real to me, not just because it’s in the Bible, but because His Spirit has also drilled that truth about my unworthiness deep into my heart. 6 Although God sometimes moves in a moment, those particular truths only became real to me over a painstakingly long span of time. i now see God’s kindness and faithfulness and my own unworthiness everywhere i look, because He patiently breathed His word in me until Jesus arose in me through faith and His heart became the lens through which i came to see the Father and myself. Yet not everything do i see that way. Many things i read about in the Bible still seem dull and lifeless, and heaven is one of them. Lord (i prayed this morning in the middle of my night), this should not be! You’ve already made it really clear to me that heaven is heavenly because it’s filled with Jesus! And Jesus has become my everything, so heaven must be awesome – incredibly more than all i could ever ask or imagine! So why, then, am i still reasoning my way into it? Why is heaven not as rock solid in my heart and mind as Jesus, Who is its substance? i need You to do another deep work in me, like You have done so many times before! Blessed is the one who reads aloud the words of this prophecy, and blessed are those who hear it and take to heart what is written in it, because the time is near. Revelation 1:3 i confessed again my unbelief, for i have unwittingly said about heaven, “I will believe it when I see it.” That’s how i feel about those crazy images in Ezekiel of the multi-winged creatures with the sparkling wheels, and the crazy images in Revelation of the creatures with faces like a lion, ox, man and eagle, yet everywhere covered with eyes. 7 Lord, You gave both Ezekiel and John out-of-body encounters with heaven so they could write down what they had seen. Do you now expect me to believe these things without seeing them? i’m not a great prophet like either of them; i’m only a man! i need You to do the heavy lifting, God. i need You to do again something akin to what You’ve done in me many times before, as you chiseled into me my faith - by this time making heaven as real to me as Your Son Jesus Himself has already become. And if through that, Jesus, You become even more palpable to me so i’m now able to see Your face, well then maybe one day i will be able to say about myself what our pastor preached yesterday about the Apostle Paul. By Your grace, Father, may i finish my race well, and may i look forward to not only seeing You, Jesus, but hugging You - for You are my goal and my prize! 8 PART TWO i thought that writing Part One might have settled me down a bit, but instead it riled me up. And that, in turn, riled God up. Maybe it was because i didn’t follow my own advice – Don’t tell God how big your problem is. Anyway, during our bike ride today, i expressed my frustration to Him about believing for miracles. “Sometimes i feel like i’m damned if i do and damned if i don’t. It’s really hard to stay behind You.” “If you’re thinking about yourself, you’ll never figure it out,” God replied. “But if you stop trying to figure it out, I will help you discern which way I Am heading.” “I want to believe boldly,” i responded, “but maybe it’s best if i also give that up and just try to stay behind You.” (i thought i was embracing what He had just said and i was being sensitive to His feelings. But what He said next showed me that i didn’t have a clue about what He was thinking or feeling.) “You don’t think that I move boldly?” He responded incredulously. “What about the way I chose to save you – by hanging My Son Jesus on a cross? Which of your plans are like Mine?” Although it hadn’t occurred to me that i might be accusing God of timidity, i began to see His point. He doesn’t play it safe. i remembered how God had rebuffed our prayers to heal one of my friends, yet God still insisted that her husband believe that He is faithful, even after his wife had died. And i thought about how God had let another friend be attacked after his wife had left him, by surrounding him at a spiritual retreat with five Christian guys who all painfully described how God hadn’t saved any of their marriages, yet God still insisted that my friend believe that He would save his marriage. Who builds folks up that way, by breaking them down? i sure don’t; i like to flood them with positive thinking and examples. Sometimes God works that way, but sometimes He floods His beloved with nonstop adversity. “My thoughts are not your thoughts” indeed! 9 If i tried to do things that upside-down way apart from God, everything would surely collapse. But God can get away with it because He is God and He never fails. My one friend’s husband is walking in much stronger faith today, than he did when his wife was with him. And my other friend has a thriving marriage and a growing family today, which God faithfully rescued from the pit. God is still very much the God of mind-bending miracles. But often i must surrender the ones i’m chasing after to see the ones He is working. 1 John 5:19-20 2 John 20:29 3 Mark 9:24 4 Philippians 1:21 5 Lamentations 3:22-23 6 Luke 17:10 7 Ezekiel 1:4-28, Revelation 4:2-11 8 2 Timothy 4:7, Genesis 15:1 9 1 Peter 1:6-7, Isaiah 55:8-11
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The Lord will grant you abundant prosperity. Deuteronomy 28:11a
God’s heart is limitless, as are His resources. There is nothing He won’t do for us. As the Apostle Paul put it: He who did not spare His own Son but gave Him up for us all – how will He not also, along with Him, graciously give us all things? Romans 8:32 Oh my goodness, such a promise! God loves us so much that there isn’t anything He wouldn’t do for us! In fact, He’s already done it! God has already paid an incredible price, slaughtering the one most near and dear to Him – His only begotten Son – that we might have life. And not just any old life! Jesus said: I have come that you might have life, and life to the full. John 10:10 paraphrase God did this so we might have abundant life - so our cups would truly overflow with blessing! It would be so easy to string verses such as these together – along with many others that say God’s grace abounds toward us, He has given us all things, and indeed given us everything we need - and assume that because we’ve been promised all the blessings of heaven, then the sky’s the limit. 2 Corinthians 9:8, 1 Corinthians 3:21, 2 Peter 1:3 If, after all, God has already given us a Mercedes, why would He skimp on accessories? Bring on that sunroof and those heated leather seats! Oh my, when the thermometer plunges below zero in January, how wonderful are heated seats! Unfortunately, that’s not the gospel of grace, and it’s not the gospel of Jesus Christ. Jesus does in fact promise us abundant life, but the life He offers us is full of Him, not possessions. In fact, Jesus warns us: Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed, life does not consist in an abundance of possessions. Luke 12:15 It’s in the nature of our flesh to want to be rich, fat and happy, but Jesus said those who pursued such things would gain for themselves nothing but woe. Woe to you who are rich, for you have already received your comfort. Woe to you who are well fed now, for you will go hungry. Woe to you who laugh now, for you will mourn and weep. Luke 6:24-25 It’s tempting to slant things Jesus said toward our benefit, in ways that don’t fit with God’s heart as a loving father. Jesus did in fact say: Ask and it will be given to you. Seek and you will find. Knock and the door will be opened to you. Luke 11:9 And He promised that everyone who does these things will receive, find, and experience open doors. Not only that, Jesus said that it’s in God’s nature as our loving Father to give us good gifts that reflect our desires. Those of us who are parents know how our hearts yearn to give our kids the desires of their hearts. God is like that – or rather, we are like Him, because we are made in His image. But we also know that giving our kids too much of a good thing is not a good thing! Most moms know it’s not a pretty picture when Johnny gets all the sugar his little heart craves; things don’t go well for anyone in the family when that happens! And Jesus was quite emphatic that the same is true for us. As sugar is to a child, so greed is to an adult. Take care! Protect yourself against the least bit of greed. Life is not defined by what you have. Luke 12:15b MSG Nor, might i add, is life limited by what we don’t have. As the life of Jesus fully demonstrates, we can have an amazing life with paltry little money. As the saying goes, money can’t buy happiness. But who doesn’t wish for just a little bit more? Yet God says that craving is dangerous. God says things will not go well for us, if we let the world lure us toward its lifestyle. I'll say to myself, Self, you've done well! You've got it made and can now retire. Take it easy and have the time of your life! Luke 12:19 MSG To those who pursue the world’s definition of “the good life,” Jesus says: Tonight you die. And your barnful of goods - who gets it? That's what happens when you fill your barn with Self and not with God. Luke 12:20b-21 MSG Wow! That is radical! Jesus is relentlessly warning us about the deceitfulness of wealth. In another story, Jesus tells of a rich man, expensively dressed in the latest fashions, wasting his days in conspicuous consumption. When a beggar appears on his doorstep, pitifully in need, the rich man turns him away. After both of them die, their fortunes are reversed. The poor man is comforted in the heavenly presence, while the rich man is left to torment in hell. Luke 16:19-23 Jesus doesn’t say that by taking care of our brothers in need, we can gain a ticket to heaven. We can give everything we possess to the poor, sacrificing our bodies to boot, and still gain nothing. 1 Corinthians 13:3 What matters is our hearts. What God cares us about is love. When you get right down to it, pretty much the only thing God cares about is love. And faith. This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down His life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person? Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth. 1 John 3:16-18 How we use our money doesn’t determine what will happen to us. That is living by the law and is death. But how we use our money does reflect what has already happened to us. We are new creations; the old has gone and the new has come. We are free to give as abundantly as God gives, and that is exceedingly more than all we can ask or imagine, according to the bountiful measure of God’s love within us. So we no longer use our freedom to indulge ourselves, but to serve one another in love. 2 Corinthians 5:17, Ephesians 3:20, Galatians 5:13 The new covenant promise of an abundant life is radically different than the old covenant promise of prosperity. Under the old covenant, blessings were experienced through the circumstances of life and were conditional upon performance. Carefully follow the terms of this covenant, so that you may prosper in everything you do. Deuteronomy 29:9 Old covenant prosperity was primarily (but not exclusively) material in nature. God’s people were to be the “have’s;” most of the others were “have not’s.” The Lord will open the heavens, the storehouse of his bounty, to send rain on your land in season and to bless all the work of your hands. You will lend to many nations but will borrow from none. The Lord will make you the head, not the tail. If you pay attention to the commands of the Lord your God that I give you this day and carefully follow them, you will always be at the top, never at the bottom. Deuteronomy 28:12-13 God intended His people’s prosperity to be extreme. You will be blessed in the city and blessed in the country. The fruit of your womb will be blessed, and the crops of your land and the young of your livestock - the calves of your herds and the lambs of your flocks. Your basket and your kneading trough will be blessed. You will be blessed when you come in and blessed when you go out. The Lord will grant that the enemies who rise up against you will be defeated before you. They will come at you from one direction but flee from you in seven. The Lord will send a blessing on your barns and on everything you put your hand to. The Lord your God will bless you in the land He is giving you. Deuteronomy 28:3-8 Through celebrations of thanksgiving, old covenant prosperity was shared within the family, with God and others without means, including priests, aliens, orphans and widows. Because it was the law, the standard was very specific: a tenth of the harvest was given to God and others. Deuteronomy 14:22-29 In addition, God commanded His people to give generously to the poor. If anyone is poor among your brothers in any of the towns of the land the Lord your God is giving you, do not be hardhearted or tightfisted toward your poor brother. Rather, be openhanded and freely lend him whatever he needs . . .There will always be poor people in the land. Therefore, I command you to be openhanded toward your brothers and toward the poor and needy in your land. Deuteronomy 15:7-8, 11 If these requirements were met, God blessed all the work of His people’s hands. But if God’s requirements were not met, He cursed them, and the curses were every bit as extreme as the blessings. You will be cursed in the city and cursed in the country. Your basket and your kneading trough will be cursed. The fruit of your womb will be cursed, and the crops of your land, and the calves of your herds and the lambs of your flocks. You will be cursed when you come in and cursed when you go out. The Lord will send on you curses, confusion and rebuke in everything you put your hand to, until you are destroyed and come to sudden ruin because of the evil you have done in forsaking Him. The Lord will plague you with diseases until He has destroyed you from the land you are entering to possess. The Lord will strike you with wasting disease, with fever and inflammation, with scorching heat and drought, with blight and mildew, which will plague you until you perish. The sky over your head will be bronze, the ground beneath you iron. The Lord will turn the rain of your country into dust and powder; it will come down from the skies until you are destroyed. The Lord will cause you to be defeated before your enemies. Deuteronomy 28:16-25a In the book of Deuteronomy, the list of curses extends for pages. Marriages were dishonored, houses were vacated, women were violated and sons were relegated to slavery. Prosperity dissolved into hunger, thirst, nakedness and dire poverty. Obviously, the old covenant left something to be desired. God himself found fault with it, and so He replaced it. The new covenant is not fulfilled by man but by God himself in the person of Jesus Christ. Jesus not only fulfilled every requirement; He Himself became the new covenant. On the cross, Christ took all of our curses from us and became sin and its curse, so we could become the righteousness of God. Hebrews 8:8, Isaiah 42:6, 49:8, Galatians 3:13, 2 Corinthians 5:21 As a consequence, we now live in grace. God no longer distributes blessings on the basis of who earned them; many basic blessings are poured out on everyone - evil and good alike. Matthew 5:45 We are no longer burdened by the requirements of the law; we have truly been set free to love God and love others. God has made us sons and daughters so we can experience intimacy with Him and inherit His kingdom. God’s kingdom is foremost spiritual, but it also has many material aspects and its realm is so vast that it is beyond anything we can see, hear or conceive. 1 Corinthians 2:9 Because it extends forever and ever, the full extent of God’s kingdom will not be revealed in our present lives, but God has already given it to us, and through prayer, God calls us to bring the first fruits of his kingdom to earth, here now. Luke 12:32, Matthew 6:10 Through His Spirit, Jesus is the one who releases this glorious kingdom. As we abide in His love and truly listen to Him, He listens to us. We ask whatever God has put on our hearts, and He gives it. John 14:13, John 15:7 This is not for our direct benefit, but for the benefit of others (though we most certainly benefit, because it is more blessed to give than to receive. Acts 20:35) Our Father is greatly pleased and glorified when we distribute the fruits of His kingdom with His heart, so He calls us to sow abundantly and he promises we will reap accordingly. John 15:8, 2 Corinthians 9:7 The kingdom comes when we love as Jesus loves. John 15:12 Jesus loves extravagantly, so we do, too. The blind receive sight, the lame walk, the sick are cured, the deaf hear and the dead are raised to life. Matthew 11:5 The ambition of Jesus is that we would do all these things – miracles such as these following us wherever we go (Mark 16:17-18) – and even greater works, because He has gone to the Father and conquered on the cross everything that stood in opposition to the advancement of His kingdom. But Jesus did not accumulate blessings for Himself, so we must not either. Your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom, (so) sell your possessions and give to the poor. Luke 12:32b-33a Jesus does not give as the world gives, so we must not either. John 14:27 Those who do not love and obey Him are still under the law. Romans 2:12 That old covenant system is all about giving to get, performing for prosperity. Under that system, people give because they have to, and then only to the extent required. This is not God’s heart and does not glorify Him. In fact, now that God has given us a better covenant in Jesus Christ, giving the old way offends God. If we cannot give with the same grace He has given us – if we give only because we are compelled to - God now considers it the same as not giving at all. 2 Corinthians 9:7 The right heart recognizes that God’s resources are limitless. The right heart sees that everything we’ve been given is a gift, and every gift of God is meant to be given away. Matthew 10:8 The right heart knows that there is more where that came from – infinitely more. The right heart is not troubled or afraid of running out, and does the works of God with great peace of mind. John 14:27 The right heart believes that when we make others’ needs our first priority, our personal needs get met in due course, usually without even asking. Matthew 6:32-33 This is how Jesus advances His kingdom. Under the old covenant, blessings were conditional, so people concerned themselves with running out. When the blessings flowed, much ended up in barns. God wasn’t offended by such behavior; He considered it prudent and blessed it. Deuteronomy 28:8 But under the new covenant, the blessings are unconditional, so there is no reason to hoard. Big barns are a sign of disbelief in God’s provision and therefore offend Him. Jesus pleads with us: Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Luke 12:24 This, then is how God responds to those who consider themselves sons or daughters but build barns: This very night your life will be demanded from you . . . This is how it will be with whoever stores up things for themselves but is not rich toward God. Luke 12:20b-21 excerpted Under the old covenant, a man’s only inheritance was what he managed to set aside in this world, invest and pass along to his next of kin. That system is still in place today – it’s the way the world still operates – but it’s not for us as God’s sons and daughters. We don’t operate the way the world operates – under the law. Instead, we operate under God’s grace by faith. Because Jesus has set me free, i can choose to build up wealth that old fashion way, but why would i want to? It’s like stuffing money under a mattress in a rickety old unlocked house, when i could be earning a guaranteed return in the universe’s most secure and profitable bank. Luke 12:33 Moreover, Jesus suggests that if i sock away what comes my way, i’m not really as free as i think. Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. No one can serve two masters . . . You cannot serve both God and money. Matthew 6:21, 24 excerpted Jesus says that if i cling to money – or anything else that comes in between Him and me – i’m not serving Him. Any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be My disciple. Luke 14:33 Wealth is such a powerful temptation, that Jesus advised some who came to Him to sell everything. Matthew 19:21 The greater the wealth, the greater the potential stronghold, which is perhaps why He said it was terribly difficult for the truly wealthy to hear Him when He calls. It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God. Matthew 19:24 Some have taken this to mean that admission into heaven demands poverty, but that is not what Jesus said, nor does it fit with the gospel of grace. If we cannot buy our way through the front door, by purchasing stuff to sacrifice (Matthew 21:12), surely we cannot buy our way through the back door, by giving away a generous portion of our wealth – even all of it. 1 Corinthians 13:3 Jesus does not honor good deeds done apart from Him, no matter how impressive they may appear to others. Matthew 6:1, 7:21-23 While a life lived in devotion to Jesus is inherently sacrificial, the measure of such a life is not sacrifice, but love. Matthew 10:38-39, 9:13 Indeed, if every believer lived hand to mouth, who would be left to give to the poor? The Apostle Paul demonstrated that the devout live their lives in ways that do not unduly burden others. 1 Thessalonians 2:9 Paul did not consider money evil, for he had to both earn it and receive it to support his ministry. Rather, he said loving money is evil, for people who are eager for money are apt to wander from their faith. 1 Timothy 6:10 Trusting in money, or any other blessing, rather than God Himself, is likewise evil. We are to place all our trust in God, and only in Him. But many people have the opposite problem. They use their money foolishly and so become poor. Jesus does not consider that sort of poverty a virtue, but a vice. He says to them: If you have not been trustworthy in handling worldly wealth, who will trust you with true riches? And if you have not been trustworthy with someone else’s property, who will give you property of your own? Luke 16:11-12 But on the other hand, it is not wise to hold money tightly, like a miser. Jesus calls us to be generous to God by giving freely to those in need. He promises if we are generous to others, God will be generous with us, not because we have earned it, but because generosity is God’s nature and fruitfulness is a hallmark of His kingdom. Jesus even speaks of a hundredfold increase accruing in present times to those who are truly sacrificial, but He doesn’t suggest the bounty will be all peaches and cream. Instead, He predicts it will attract persecution. Mark 10:30 In any event, He asks that whatever resources come our way, merited or by windfall, be put toward building His kingdom and not our gain. There is tremendous prosperity in that kind of wealth, but like many other things in the kingdom, it’s mostly hidden from sight. Two things I ask of you, Lord; do not refuse me before I die: Keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, “Who is the Lord?” Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God. Proverbs 30:7-9 What all of this means for you as an individual believer is not for me to say, because we do not live by rules but by faith, not by bread but by the very rhema – voice – of God. Matthew 4:4 But surely if you ask Him, God will whisper His reply in your ear, for it is His good pleasure to give you the kingdom, and an even greater one when you show yourself to be just like Him by giving it away! i was hoping to donate blood Thursday morning, and worked hard to make it happen after unfavorable blood tests i got back in November led my doctor to suggest that my donations might be compromising my health. So i prayed, and followed my doctor’s advice by taking a round of iron supplements and slowing down the pace of my donations. Then i scheduled my next donation for early February, scheduled a new set of blood tests and another doctor visit just before it, and prayed that the new results would show i had enough iron in my blood and body to donate safely.
But stuff happened that threatened to keep me from attending the blood drive. Through more prayer God helped me find a work around. Then, after my doctor reviewed the new lab work, she said everything looked good and i was cleared to donate more blood! The morning of the blood drive was really busy, so i got up early and answered fifty-five online questions to qualify me to donate. But i still wasn’t sure i should give blood, because i was jet-lagged from spending forty hours nonstop in planes and airports, and my body clock was reeling from a fifteen-hour time change. “Donate blood today,” i heard in the spirit. During an uphill bike ride, i thanked God that i found the strength to pedal higher than i had two days earlier, when i’d collapsed on the pavement, dizzy and exhausted. Still i questioned whether it was wise for me to donate when i was so worn down. Experience has taught me that when i ignore those warning signs my health takes a hit. “I am with you, whatever you decide,” i heard in the spirit. That was different than what i’d heard earlier. Was God telling me to donate, or was He giving me the freedom to choose? Since He isn’t double-minded, i knew that one of those two voices wasn’t His. So i prayed, asking Him what was up. i remembered that although i’ve been donating blood for years and i’m trying to follow God in everything i do, not once had God ever told me to give blood. That doesn’t mean that giving blood isn’t His best for me. After all, didn’t Jesus give His blood for me? Why, then, should i not give my blood for Him? Not that my gift compares to His, because it doesn’t. But it is a tangible way i can thank Him for what He’s done for me, and i know He sees my heart in that and honors it. He honors it by never telling me to do it. He lets my donations be my gift to Him, not something i feel obligated to do. So who, then, told me to donate? It must have been a religious spirit, i concluded, trying to smear me with contaminated motives. The spirit that insists i donate is trying to make my donations about me. But they’re not. They’re about God’s goodness and faithfulness. i’m not trying to prove anything by donating blood; all i’m trying to do is thank God for all He’s done for me! During my ride, God was signaling to me that i was free to give blood whatever way i thought best. I didn’t think it was best to donate when i felt so worn down, so i thanked God for promising to bless whatever i decided to do and i shelved my plans to donate. But that didn’t sit well with me, because there wasn’t going to be another local blood drive for two months, and that next one conflicted with our plans to visit family overseas. So if i wanted to donate before next summer, i would have to drive a couple hours roundtrip to a donation center, or wait until i was near one to give blood. i couldn’t recall any plans i had that would lead me near a blood center during operating hours. But while i was praying about that i got a text reminding me of a meeting next week that was just fifteen minutes from a blood center. So i went online and repeatedly tried to schedule an appointment there, but i couldn’t get the system to confirm the date and time i needed, even though it was available. So again i surrendered everything to God. Although i figured i could drop into the blood center without an appointment, yesterday morning i tried the scheduling system one more time, and this time it worked. Now i have an actual appointment. What a huge amount of work it’s taken to keep moving forward with such a simple thing! Yet i still don’t know if i will actually donate, because my body clock is still whacko and my sleeplessness is leaving me fatigued. In the middle of the night while i was still in bed but fully awake, God and i began pondering together the parts of the gospel about trials. The more verses He brought to mind, the more i realized that trials aren’t just a part of the gospel; they’re at the very center of the gospel. For the gospel is Jesus living in us, and He chooses to live in us as He did in His own flesh two thousand years ago, as the Christ. Fortunately most of us won’t die on a cross, but Jesus demands that every one of us take up our own. And the Bible says that For unto you it has been granted, not only to believe in Him, but suffer for Him. Philippians 1:29 paraphrase So i’ve stopped expecting that just because i’m doing stuff for the Lord, it will be easy. i’ve begun accepting that precisely because i’m doing stuff for the Lord, some things might prove hard. The enemy wants me to believe that hardship is a sign i’ve strayed off the path. But it’s more likely a sign that i’m in the center of God’s will, because the Lord’s will is Christ. To live is Christ and to die is gain. Philippians 1:21 So in the middle of the night i surrendered my body clock to the Lord. He helped me see that, since i’ve now been home ten days, i can’t attribute my sleeplessness to mere jet lag. But oddly enough, i found that thought very reassuring. For if it’s an attack i’m enduring, i know my deliverer. And if it’s a health issue i’m battling, i know my healer. Or if it’s some other malaise i’m experiencing, i know my savior. And i’m so, so grateful that Jesus likewise knows me! Jesus will continue to save, heal and deliver me, as He has so many times before. And as I fix my eyes on Him, He will accomplish whatever He chooses to do through me, big or small, easy or hard. My part is to keep praying and keep stepping in the direction He leads. And to keep praising Him no matter what. Not just because He’s answering my prayers, but simply because He is so good, kind and faithful! Three days ago i chose to fast from my devices for a few hours. It began after Pilates, while i was sitting in a big chair overlooking our backyard, and i pondered the idols i typically hold in my hands.
The makers of our phones and tablets intentionally designed them so we would depend upon them for everything. We use them to see, to hear, to think and even to pray. They remind us of things, give us insight about things, and are increasingly becoming the main way we connect with people and the world. They have become the main lens through which we see ourselves and others, and are powerfully shaping what we believe and how we think and act. Now our devices are training us to talk and listen to them like we talk and listen to humans. The more we submit to them, the more we treat our devices not just as a person, but as God – the source and fulfillment of all things. Many of us who call ourselves Christians already abide in our devices way more faithfully than we abide in Jesus. We depend upon them, spend time with them, are guided by them and engage with others and the world through them, way more extensively than we do so with God. In ancient times God was extremely offended by carved blocks of wood His people made that took His place in their hearts and lives. These days the devices we cling to are way more intimate and powerful than any of the idols our ancestors crafted, and that cannot possibly sit well with God! That device-free morning while i was abiding in His Spirit, i pondered some of those places in the Bible where God calls us to turn toward Him. Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. Colossians 3:1-3 As i actually began to do that, my heart and my mind were filled with His. i looked at my trials, and the trials of His beloved, through the lens of my faith, and my thoughts and my prayers soon came into alignment with His tenderly victorious heart! But then i strayed, by imagining all sorts of things i could do when my heavenly time ended and my devices were back in my hands. Realizing i was getting ahead of myself and leaping far ahead of God, i tried to imagine what i could do to keep my device-free momentum rolling forward. i didn’t realize i was falling into legalism; i thought i was simply imagining how i might do various things without using my phone or tablet. But through that line of thinking i had unwittingly lowered my gaze from heaven to earth, and my thoughts and my prayers fell out of alignment with God’s. On my way into the kitchen i passed our little grandfather clock, which began chiming out of synch with the time on its face. “That’s odd,” i mused, consulting the time on the microwave. “The grandfather clock’s hands point to the right time, but it’s chime is seven minutes late.” Yet both had been in synch an hour earlier when our exercise session had ended. The chime continued to sound seven minutes late for another hour or two, until i finished a brief walk around the block. When i came back inside, i picked up my phone just as the clock struck noon, which the time on the clock’s face also showed. Both the chime and the time had come back in synch with my phone. “God, this isn’t a coincidence, is it?” i asked. “You are in this, aren’t You?” “I Am,” He smiled, without saying anything more. When i shared what had happened with Karen, she suggested i adjust the dials on the back of the clock. But that didn’t make sense, because there wasn’t any way to adjust the chime apart from the time. And besides, the chime had already adjusted itself. When i shared what had happened with a friend, he quickly observed that seven is a Biblical number. “Oh that’s right!” i exclaimed. “i wonder what it means?” Part of me wanted to Google the Biblical significance of seven, but another part of me considered that out of bounds. If the riddle was about living beyond my devices, how could it be solved by consulting my devices? i knew God had something He wanted to show me, so i asked Him to solve the riddle. “I will,” He smiled, again without offering a clue. Though both parts of the clock were still agreeing with each other when i went to bed that night, i was still scratching my head over what had happened. i concluded the riddle must have something to do with abiding in heavenly time. But there had to be more than i understood, so again i pressed into God. The next morning, after admiring the picture of his newborn a buddy had just texted me, i put down my phone and got up to make Karen some coffee. Though it was already past nine it was still a tad dark, so i detoured into the dining room to raise the blinds. Just then the grandfather clock chimed – seven minutes again off schedule! Because the clock was just inches from my ear, it felt like God Himself was tapping me on the shoulder, and that filled my heart with joy! i laughed and i laughed and then i laughed some more, because God was fully present with me in the moment and i knew He was teaching me something profound, in a delightfully creative way. Yet i couldn’t put what He was saying into words, and the more i tried to define it the more it became apparent that my heart was out of synch with His. Which, given the seven minute lapse between the chime and the time, suggested our disconnect was the missing clue! But only after i fully repented from my impatience by waiting upon Him was i able to hear what He was saying. And that took a lot longer – three days longer - than i expected or preferred. Here’s the gist of what God eventually said: My ways aren’t your ways and the world’s timing isn’t Mine. You shouldn’t be surprised that time shifts when you lay down your devices, for I have already spoken to you about that - you must slow down to speed up! The more you follow Me into secret places the more you’ll find yourself out of synch with the world and everything it. But that doesn’t mean you’re falling behind; it means that your heart and mind are catching up with Mine. For time is your servant, as it is Mine. When you abide in My heart, what you hear won’t always jive with what you see. Yet you hear clearly because you live by faith in My voice. So trust your ears and I will give you the eyes of My heart. For I don’t look at what people look at; I look at people’s hearts. By abiding in Me you’ll see through My eyes, pray in My Spirit and love as I love, even when you have no words. Praise God that i’m finally hearing Him clearly again, and He didn’t leave me to my own devices! And praise Jesus all the more, that He’s still teaching me to obey what He says! All night long the Holy Spirit has been singing the song Above All into me.
Above all powers, above all thrones Above all wonders the world has ever known Above all wealth and treasures of the earth There’s no way to measure what Your worth 1 It’s a wonderful song, full of the Biblical truth that the One Who is above all became nothing to save us from our sin. But some worship leaders won’t sing it, because of how it ends. Like a rose trampled on the ground You took the fall And thought of me Above all It’s an enticing lyric, because on the cross Jesus definitely thought of me. He thought enough of us all, in fact, to forgive our sin and make a place for us in the Father’s house and heart! That’s the gospel, and it’s definitely for us, but it’s not about us. What’s truly amazing about the gospel is the incredible way it reveals the love of the Father and the devotion of the Son. No one loves like the Father, Who gave His son for us all. And no one is devoted like the Son, Who forsook the world and even His own flesh to enthrone Himself in our hearts. That’s what Philippians Chapter 2 declares: because He Who was in very nature God became nothing and submitted Himself to death on a cross, His name is exalted above all others! i’m not above all; Jesus is. Yes, He loves me dearly, like no one else does. But that’s only amazing if it’s about Him. So as He sang this song throughout my night, the Holy Spirit and i changed the ending to conform it to the gospel. Like a rose trampled on the ground You took the fall Then took Your place Above all God can make a change like that because He wrote the song. Whoever its human authors were, i’m certain they got their content from God, Who is the only one Who reveals Jesus to be our Christ. 2 So what about that one errant line? Maybe that was the enemy, playing His favorite game, making God’s work about us. Or maybe that was God, giving Satan a little wiggle room to deceive even the elect, if that were possible. 3 Why would God do such a thing? To test our faith, i suspect. Not to see if we stumble, because He already knows every heart. But to cause us to stumble, because that’s how Jesus sometimes works in us, as the Christ. As it is written: "See, I lay in Zion a stone that causes people to stumble and a rock that makes them fall, and the one who believes in Him will never be put to shame." 4 For His name sake Christ’s Spirit leads us into valleys so dark that we stumble around, just trying to figure out which way is up. 5 But praise God because when we cry out to Him, He shows us that He is there. He calms our jittery nerves by reassuring us it’s going to be OK, because He is the one Who handed us our crosses, and they’re not about us; they’re about Him. It’s impossible to carry a cross without stumbling. If anyone knows that, it’s Jesus. Even He as a mere man needed help to carry His cross all the way to Calvary. 6 If anyone doesn’t stumble, He has no need for help, or the outstretched hand of our Savior. That man has it so together that he’s tempted to think that the works of God are all about Him. Yet to him Jesus might someday say, “I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoer!” 7 In Jesus’s heart and mind, the work of God is to believe in Him. 8 If we love that way, by depending upon Him, we will yield lasting fruit. 9 But if our fruit is all about us, it will go up in flames. 10 So i’m pretty certain Jesus loves that song, especially the last part which makes some of His beloved queasy. “Just checking,” i imagine Him saying with a wink, “which gospel you’re believing: the one about you, or the one about Me?” 1 Above All by Paul Baloche and Lenny LeBlanc 2 Matthew 16:17 3 Matthew 24:24 4 Romans 9:33 5 Psalm 23:3-5 6 Luke 23:26 7 Matthew 7:23b 8 John 6:29 9 Matthew 7:16-17 10 1 Corinthians 3:13-15 One morning last week while i was having breakfast at a local truck stop, i heard this word from the Lord:
The world says you get what you pay for, but God says you get what you pray for. So pray with confidence, because Jesus already paid for everything you’re bargaining for. What a great word! It was so good that God began confirming it even before He spoke it to me. It happened when i woke up one day unable to breathe out of the left side of my nose because my nasal passage was plugged. i considered that strange since i didn’t have a cold, so i told my sinus to clear in Jesus’s name. Within about a half an hour i was healed, and i shared that story with a buddy when he called me later that same morning. He was really encouraged by my testimony and used it to strengthen his own faith, since he also had a plugged nose, which we likewise told to be cleared, in Jesus’s name! Yesterday my buddy confirmed that he also was healed by faith, but he had to contend for it for a couple more days before his nose was finally cleared. His condition was worse than mine - his nose was bloody - and that tempted him to fear, because he smoked for years and that left him susceptible to respiratory ailments and whenever there’s blood he tends to think the worse. But he recognized it was an attack and received my testimony as the truth and persevered to receive the victory God had prepared for him in Christ! Faith is our victory, and when we walk in faith healing becomes way more contagious than disease! Christ is our healing and our faith, and on the cross He defeated everything that stands against us! For we are covered by His blood and that gives us victory in every battle. When we surrender to Jesus every battle becomes His, and He wins His battles one hundred percent of the time!! Last night Karen and i watched a movie called Moms Night Out, a comedy about women seeking a break from the relentless demands of parenting. It’s considered a Christian movie, probably because it was made by folks who make that type of film, and it was remarkably free of bad language, sexual innuendo or twisted references to addictive substances or lifestyle choices that make most Hollywood movies impossible for me to watch. The characters were well developed - not just the principal ones but also the supporting ones - the acting was great, and it was really funny in an almost slapstick way, without ever becoming crude. So there was a lot to recommend it, and i imagine most Christians who watch it would be pleased with their choice.
But apparently that movie wasn’t good for me, because last night after i went to bed i was fidgety for hours. i got attacked with an ungodly dream - one i’d experienced before - and this morning i have a severe bout of tinnitus. All those signs suggest the movie might have been too worldly for me. Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them. 1 John 2:15 God wants to be my refuge from the stresses of life, and He doesn’t want me to find my refuge in the world. There are times, of course, when i need a break from my routine, but what my spirit-man craves is peace, stillness and rest, not a night on the town. The movie, on the other hand, infected me with a worldly spirit, and i can literally hear it; it sounds like the high-frequency buzz you might hear if you get too close to a high-voltage transmission line. For me, there’s powerful tension in the spiritual atmosphere surrounding that movie, and it’s unnerving to my soul. Fortunately, the more i focus on God the more the tension dissipates, like a hangover dissolves when a healing remedy is applied. i’m grateful for that - that God is my refuge and my healer, and He leads me to choose Him over counterfeits that don’t satisfy. For God says, “Be wise about what is good and simple about what is evil.” 1 In other words, God is good, staying filled with Him is best, and whatever lacks faith in Him is evil! 2 i’m grateful for the sensitivity the Father is growing in me, which enables me to cherish His amazing heart and give Him the honor He is due. Since He is Spirit i’m sensitive to all things spiritual - the good, the bad and the ugly - and it’s fitting that i suffer the consequences of my poor choices, because i should know better. By His grace i do know better, and so this morning i asked for His forgiveness, and received it. Thank You, Jesus! Yet God didn’t stop there, by just forgiving me; He redeemed my error to raise anew the life of His Son in me! For throughout the past couple of weeks, as i prayed for many people, “Today, when you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts,” 3 i myself struggled with a hardened heart. It surfaced in my inability to focus on God - to fix my eyes on Jesus - while i worship Him. Even after i had repented from failing to do what He had called me to do - to take up my instrument and play - i struggled to actually make my worship of Him to be about Him. Instead i kept focusing on how i was singing and how i was playing my keyboard, which didn’t seem very good to me, and it certainly wasn’t getting any better by trying to do better. It was classic wretchedness - the good i wanted to do i didn’t do, but the evil i didn’t want to do, i kept on doing. 4 Over the past week, as i wrestled with not even wanting to pick up my keyboard because the way i was using it to worship was painful to me and to God, i confessed my battle to God, although not very adequately my sin. Praise God that He met me where i was at - in that downcast, Psalm 42 sort of place - and redeemed me from the pit i was wallowing in! Praise the Lord, my soul; all my inmost being, praise His holy name. Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all His benefits - Who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, Who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, Who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's. Psalms 103:1-5 This morning after i wrote this piece about my descent into worldliness and the tinnitus it triggered, i wanted to thank God for forgiving me, and this time when i picked up my instrument and played, it was different. This time i was more able to praise God with a sincere heart and not focus so much on my singing or playing. This time i didn’t try so hard to perform the music as it was written, but i found a style more suitable to my heart and ability. i stayed in the lower octave most of the time, and only took it up a notch at the end, when i was feeling it and my vocal chords were ready to sing it, and it turned out pretty good. It wasn’t perfect, of course, but i didn’t care so much about that today; i just wanted to express my love to God and thank Him for being so good to me. Isn’t that amazing - how just as that psalm says, He redeems my life from the pit and crowns me with with love and compassion? My Spirit-man is truly renewed today, and my heart is soaring into heavenly realms, just as i sang! I choose this day to be grateful, Lord I give You praise with an open heart I'm waking up to heaven I'm waking up to You For always being good, thank You For Your mercies that are new, thank You In Spirit and in truth, thank You I’m telling You thank You 5 1 Romans 16:19 2 Romans 14:23 3 Hebrews 3:16 4 Romans 7:19 5 You and You Alone by Upperroom Yesterday afternoon i decided to get some cardio by riding my bike uphill. It wasn’t ideal conditions - it was cold and overcast - and i really wanted to just lie down and take a nap, but i hadn’t had any cardio the previous two days, and i wasn’t likely to get any cardio today, because it’s Sunday, so i decided to do it because my body needed the workout, even though all i felt like i needed was a nap.
The ride was grueling every pedal stroke of the way, not because i was out of shape or in pain or the physical circumstances were hard, but because my flesh was strong, the Spirit was ebbing and my fleshly man didn’t want to exercise. My eyes were shut much of the ride - i only opened them to make certain i wasn’t running off the road or to be aware of nearby cars - and so my way forward was slow and super wobbly. By closing my eyes i was hoping to focus on God, instead of the world around me, but by closing my eyes i ended up focusing too much on my body, which kept screaming “No!” Yet i kept pedaling, and as i headed up, i kept thinking about how lazy i was. And then near the end as i approached my goal, i repeatedly thanked Jesus that the worst of my ordeal was over. When i got home i stripped down, took a shower and collapsed on the bed. Much later, in the middle of the night, i began wondering why my ride had been so hard. The Spirit still seems to be ebbing today, so i don’t have lots of revelation, but here is what i’ve been able to piece together so far. Calling myself lazy wasn’t good. First, because a friend and i are doing a negativity fast, and thinking of myself as lazy is definitely negative. But also because it isn’t Biblically true. The Biblical truth is that i can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me.1 And when i’m weak, i’m strong.2 So i don’t focus on how my flesh is feeling, but i fix my eyes on Jesus, Who for the joy set before Him endured His cross.3 He is my joy, and He is enough! Because of Him, i’m a new creation! That old man is gone and i’m now filled with Christ!4 Even when the Spirit is ebbing i’m filled with Jesus, and because He is my faith, even the tiniest bit of Him is enough to cast a whole mountain of lethargy into the sea!5 None of those verses came to mind while i was riding yesterday because i had failed to pray. Had i confessed my weakness to God and asked Him to strengthen me, surely He would have done so and i would be journaling today about my victory instead of my failure. Because i failed to engage Father, Son and Spirit in my weakness, i fell into striving. Any time i start thinking of myself as lazy it’s a sure sign i’ve fallen into striving and i’m relying upon fleshly willpower to move forward. Because my natural man is very determined, that’s easy to do. The world calls it a strength but from a Biblical point of view it’s a weakness because it tempts me to rely upon my natural gifting instead of relying upon God. Anything that works against depending upon God is sheer pride and must go to the cross. This is the word of the Lord to Rob: “Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit,” says the Lord Almighty. "What are you, mighty mountain? Before Rob you will become level ground. Then will arise Christ the cornerstone, to shouts of ‘God bless! God bless!’” Zechariah 4:6b-7 paraphrase The Word of the Lord! Praise Him! 1 Philippians 4:13 2 2 Corinthians 12:10 3 Hebrews 12:2 4 2 Corinthians 5:17 5 Matthew 17:20 Back home in the USA, the seating of a new president is creating quite a stir. But here in Southeast Asia where i’ve now been for the better part of a week, i’m reminded of what’s truly important.
i’m in Cambodia, working mostly with the locals here on an outreach team which is bringing Jesus's message of love and mercy to a people who are hungry to receive it. Meeting Jesus is life changing for many Khmer, because in the 1970’s millions of them were slaughtered in a ruthless genocide that attempted to quash anything and everything that was opposed to the totalitarian authority of the state. Many of the elders we are now meeting - almost always in their tin-roofed, open-walled homes - are personal survivors of the genocide, as are several members of our team. So the struggle against tyranny is very personal to them. But there is also a profound humility and eagerness to embrace Jesus's ways, because the notion of mercy is so foreign to Khmer culture that there isn't even a word for forgiveness in the language. While that definitely presents some challenges, it also offers a wonderful opportunity, because mere words will never suffice. The only way to communicate mercy is to be mercy. And when we manage to do that, human souls open like lotus blossoms, because the craving for mercy - for the kind of mercy Jesus brought, which wasn't primarily with words but with compassion and power - is so core that it transcends culture and satisfies the deepest longings of our hearts. How transforming is Christ's mercy! A couple of days ago i rode to the villages on the back of a moto driven by a guy who as a young man was an officer in the Khmer Rouge, and who continued to oppose Christ's mercy for decades after that bloody reign ended. More recently - for ten years after his wife met Jesus - he repeatedly burned every Bible she brought home. But she asked her Lord to show her husband mercy, and the entire local church joined her in those pleas, and Jesus answered. He underwent a radical change in his heart, and Jesus did in him something akin to how He once transformed Saul into Paul. The terrorist became an evangelist, and now that same man spends every day returning to his village and neighboring places, humbly serving as the hands and feet of Christ! He now has a gentle demeanor and a tender heart. And last year, when he and his wife rededicated their marriage to Jesus, his wife wept. "I have a new husband!" she exclaimed to everyone within earshot, tears streaming down her face. Only Jesus does things like that! Mere politics can never reach that deep into human souls. Political movements come and go - they toss and turn like waves in the sea - but the love of God revealed in the face of Christ endures forever! Jesus refuses to be enthroned in Washington or any other worldly place, despite the best-laid plans of well-meaning reformers. The only throne Jesus has ever coveted, and the only throne worthy of Him, is your heart, my heart, and the ones who are working against us. You cannot serve both God and money. Matthew 6:24b
On Saturday night, i got really upset when i had to pay fifteen bucks more than i usually do to fill up my gas tank, because all the cheaper options didn’t work out. The next morning i was convicted that money had become an idol to me, yet i wasn’t really in a heart-space to pray into that, even though i was filled with the Spirit. Last night, however, when God gently reminded me of that conviction, i was able to more adequately confess my sin, including my disobedience, idolatry, greed, hardened heart, hypocrisy, unfaithfulness, and inclination to find my security in the world rather than in God, among many other things. A lot of what i confessed stems from my longstanding habit of amassing wealth, as my dad had taught me to do. While the world commends that trait, what’s wise in its eyes is foolish to God. Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:19-21 This was one of many Bible passages that really spoke to me when i started following Jesus. So i soon exchanged high-stakes careers in business and government for the opportunity to hang out with teens. In less than a year, i had also given up my ministry salary as well. Yet God kept blessing our finances, and we were able to live comfortably without dipping too far into our savings, while the nest egg we’d built when i wasn’t tracking with Jesus continued to grow. Eventually, i began asking God to help Karen and i resist the temptation to use our savings to serve ourselves, and lead us to devote them to His purposes. Seven years later God answered my prayer by giving me a prophetic dream. i saw a woman holding an earthen globe embedded with checks made out to me that weren’t mine. i knew that she wanted me to use that money to build God’s kingdom. Although she was offering me a wonderful gift, i didn’t want anything to do with it and i was offended that she was pointing at me. i knew that i had the ability to do what she was asking, but i didn’t know what was to be built. The pastor who interpreted my dream said that the woman was an angel or the Holy Spirit, and God was making riches available through me to build His kingdom. Over the last fifteen years, the truth in that dream has continued to be revealed and fulfilled, so that now Karen and i are positioned to support the advancement of God’s kingdom around the world, beyond what most believers can do. And in the future we hope to do even more. How amazing is our God, that He would transform my ungodly habit of amassing wealth into godly opportunities to advance His kingdom in the hearts of His beloved! But the incredible work God is doing to redeem my wayward habits doesn’t justify their ungodliness. So last night, for the first time, i repented from making excuses for my sin because it had generational roots or because God was turning it into a blessing. i stopped ducking accountability for my worldliness and accepted full responsibility for my sinful heart and actions. Perhaps most importantly, i confessed my inability to effect the change i needed and asked God to do what i could not. After i had repented as fully as i knew how to do, i fell asleep and had a godly dream, which i haven’t had in a long time. i don’t recall the full extent of it, except a part where i confidently shared with someone, who wasn’t yet following Jesus, how kind God had been to me: how faithfully His Spirit had kept praying for me, how tenderly Jesus had kept bathing me in His meekness, and how lovingly the Father had kept forgiving me, for many decades while i continued to reject them all! i awoke feeling very encouraged, because i realized that although i had resisted Jesus’s teachings about money and had indulged in idolatrous ways for a very long time, by God’s grace and Jesus’s blood i’ve now moved past those ways, and the battle for that last corner of my soul had been won! i was again positioned to entertain heavenly dreams that weren’t about me but about Jesus and His heart for the family of God. And as i put my hope in Jesus, my heart overflowed with joy and peace, reflecting the spirit of this blessed season. i wish that money-related trials were now behind me, but i don’t think that’s true. i still live in a world where money is worshipped, and i’m still going to be challenged to discern God’s leading in matters of finance, when there are so many forces at work pulling in every conceivable direction. And i will continue to be tested in the realm of travel, where the twin strongholds of money and time are so entrenched that simply making reservations often feels like a dark valley to me. Yet sin no longer rules me, because Jesus has set me free! And when He set me free, i became free indeed! Romans 6:14, John 8:36 |