SHALL I SERVE God OR MONEY?

You cannot serve both God and money.  Matthew 6:24b
 
On Saturday night, i got really upset when i had to pay fifteen bucks more than i usually do to fill up my gas tank, because all the cheaper options didn’t work out.  The next morning i was convicted that money had become an idol to me, yet i wasn’t really in a heart-space to pray into that, even though i was filled with the Spirit.  Last night, however, when God gently reminded me of that conviction, i was able to more adequately confess my sin, including my disobedience, idolatry, greed, hardened heart, hypocrisy, unfaithfulness, and inclination to find my security in the world rather than in God, among many other things.
 
A lot of what i confessed stems from my longstanding habit of amassing wealth, as my dad had taught me to do.  While the world commends that trait, what’s wise in its eyes is foolish to God.
 
Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.  But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.  Matthew 6:19-21
 
This was one of many Bible passages that really spoke to me when i started following Jesus.  So i soon exchanged high-stakes careers in business and government for the opportunity to hang out with teens.  In less than a year, i had also given up my ministry salary as well.  Yet God kept blessing our finances, and we were able to live comfortably without dipping too far into our savings, while the nest egg we’d built when i wasn’t tracking with Jesus continued to grow.  Eventually, i began asking God to help Karen and i resist the temptation to use our savings to serve ourselves, and lead us to devote them to His purposes.
 
Seven years later God answered my prayer by giving me a prophetic dream.  i saw a woman holding an earthen globe embedded with checks made out to me that weren’t mine.  i knew that she wanted me to use that money to build God’s kingdom.  Although she was offering me a wonderful gift, i didn’t want anything to do with it and i was offended that she was pointing at me.  i knew that i had the ability to do what she was asking, but i didn’t know what was to be built.
 
The pastor who interpreted my dream said that the woman was an angel or the Holy Spirit, and God was making riches available through me to build His kingdom.  Over the last fifteen years, the truth in that dream has continued to be revealed and fulfilled, so that now Karen and i are positioned to support the advancement of God’s kingdom around the world, beyond what most believers can do.  And in the future we hope to do even more.
 
How amazing is our God, that He would transform my ungodly habit of amassing wealth into godly opportunities to advance His kingdom in the hearts of His beloved!  But the incredible work God is doing to redeem my wayward habits doesn’t justify their ungodliness.  So last night, for the first time, i repented from making excuses for my sin because it had generational roots or because God was turning it into a blessing.  i stopped ducking accountability for my worldliness and accepted full responsibility for my sinful heart and actions.  Perhaps most importantly, i confessed my inability to effect the change i needed and asked God to do what i could not.
 
After i had repented as fully as i knew how to do, i fell asleep and had a godly dream, which i haven’t had in a long time.  i don’t recall the full extent of it, except a part where i confidently shared with someone, who wasn’t yet following Jesus, how kind God had been to me: how faithfully His Spirit had kept praying for me, how tenderly Jesus had kept bathing me in His meekness, and how lovingly the Father had kept forgiving me, for many decades while i continued to reject them all!
 
i awoke feeling very encouraged, because i realized that although i had resisted Jesus’s teachings about money and had indulged in idolatrous ways for a very long time, by God’s grace and Jesus’s blood i’ve now moved past those ways, and the battle for that last corner of my soul had been won!  i was again positioned to entertain heavenly dreams that weren’t about me but about Jesus and His heart for the family of God.  And as i put my hope in Jesus, my heart overflowed with joy and peace, reflecting the spirit of this blessed season.
 
i wish that money-related trials were now behind me, but i don’t think that’s true.  i still live in a world where money is worshipped, and i’m still going to be challenged to discern God’s leading in matters of finance, when there are so many forces at work pulling in every conceivable direction.  And i will continue to be tested in the realm of travel, where the twin strongholds of money and time are so entrenched that simply making reservations often feels like a dark valley to me.
 
Yet sin no longer rules me, because Jesus has set me free!  And when He set me free, i became free indeed!  Romans 6:14, John 8:36