WHEN HEADING UP IS A DOWNER

​Yesterday afternoon i decided to get some cardio by riding my bike uphill.  It wasn’t ideal conditions - it was cold and overcast - and i really wanted to just lie down and take a nap, but i hadn’t had any cardio the previous two days, and i wasn’t likely to get any cardio today, because it’s Sunday, so i decided to do it because my body needed the workout, even though all i felt like i needed was a nap.
 
The ride was grueling every pedal stroke of the way, not because i was out of shape or in pain or the physical circumstances were hard, but because my flesh was strong, the Spirit was ebbing and my fleshly man didn’t want to exercise.  My eyes were shut much of the ride - i only opened them to make certain i wasn’t running off the road or to be aware of nearby cars - and so my way forward was slow and super wobbly.  By closing my eyes i was hoping to focus on God, instead of the world around me, but by closing my eyes i ended up focusing too much on my body, which kept screaming “No!”
 
Yet i kept pedaling, and as i headed up, i kept thinking about how lazy i was.  And then near the end as i approached my goal, i repeatedly thanked Jesus that the worst of my ordeal was over.  When i got home i stripped down, took a shower and collapsed on the bed.  Much later, in the middle of the night, i began wondering why my ride had been so hard.  The Spirit still seems to be ebbing today, so i don’t have lots of revelation, but here is what i’ve been able to piece together so far.
 
Calling myself lazy wasn’t good.  First, because a friend and i are doing a negativity fast, and thinking of myself as lazy is definitely negative.  But also because it isn’t Biblically true.  The Biblical truth is that i can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me.1  And when i’m weak, i’m strong.2  So i don’t focus on how my flesh is feeling, but i fix my eyes on Jesus, Who for the joy set before Him endured His cross.3  He is my joy, and He is enough!  Because of Him, i’m a new creation!  That old man is gone and i’m now filled with Christ!4  Even when the Spirit is ebbing i’m filled with Jesus, and because He is my faith, even the tiniest bit of Him is enough to cast a whole mountain of lethargy into the sea!5
 
None of those verses came to mind while i was riding yesterday because i had failed to pray.  Had i confessed my weakness to God and asked Him to strengthen me, surely He would have done so and i would be journaling today about my victory instead of my failure.  Because i failed to engage Father, Son and Spirit in my weakness, i fell into striving.  Any time i start thinking of myself as lazy it’s a sure sign i’ve fallen into striving and i’m relying upon fleshly willpower to move forward.  Because my natural man is very determined, that’s easy to do.  The world calls it a strength but from a Biblical point of view it’s a weakness because it tempts me to rely upon my natural gifting instead of relying upon God.  Anything that works against depending upon God is sheer pride and must go to the cross.
 
This is the word of the Lord to Rob: “Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit,” says the Lord Almighty.  "What are you, mighty mountain?  Before Rob you will become level ground.  Then will arise Christ the cornerstone, to shouts of ‘God bless!  God bless!’”  Zechariah 4:6b-7 paraphrase
 
The Word of the Lord!  Praise Him!

1  Philippians 4:13
2  2 Corinthians 12:10
3  Hebrews 12:2
4  2 Corinthians 5:17
5  Matthew 17:20